trust

To truly trust. Wholly. Fully. With everything that I am. It feels impossible. There are so many thoughts within my mind. Constantly asking “Can you really?” Looking for an excuse not to. Emotions and situations clouding my judgement. But is that the way I'm supposed to determine if someone is trustworthy? Surely not. Perceptions are clouded by what we feel. Justifying ourselves by sacrificing the other person. “Surely they intended to cause harm.” Or even perceptions of self-loathing causing chaos. “Surely I did something to make them feel this way!” It feels so easy. A trap that seems to actively seek us out.

What then should be determing our trust in someone? If not, how do we feel? If not, what we [over]think? Then what? Perhaps something greater. Something more concrete. Based on evidence that is unaffected by us. Something like character, perhaps? It's something that remains quite steady. Usually, finding ways of improvement that are clear and grounded. Or even clear when they are becoming disruptive.

If I had to change the way I trust people,  and God from their character, from what I've experienced or heard from others, how would that change the way I live? They way I interact? The way I love? I can look at what is happening, determine if it aligns with who they fundamentally are, and make that decision for myself. Beyond what I might be feeling. For emotions both reveal and cloud, but their foundation is weak. Sure to change like the wind. Sure to slowly deceive.

I think it comes with wisdom though. Wisdom allows us to use the knowledge of the person,  the situation, the world, and our emotions to make a decision that is not only better, but also honours God and ourselves. And how do we get that, by deeper relationship with You and Your Word. Seeking daily beyond ourselves and the pride we might hold in our capabilities and knowledge. Humbling ourselves to the point of knowing both our abilities and limitations.